perfect

perfect bllsht
realizing is not like accepting and holding to it
writing this might make me stand on my feet properly
holding the earth more properly
with 3 longs essays not yet in accordance
not included other essays

nothing's good
bare the cost
bare with it,don't?
back up with something else
doing nothing really cost something
lab everyday after class was damn good
cost pretty much my whole evening and night
it carried on until the next morning
just bare do not with it
it's not that it could change, or eased
or the assignment would suddenly disappeared


tahu tapi tak sedar
dying here
mimpi ngeri agi

~selamat hari raya aidiladha~

trouble-less

to show is better than to tell,
to lead is not as bad as to follow,
to think ahead is very much harder than to think just for now,
to stay as it was is like to remember the way you did it,
to improve is not to underestimate,
to relieve is to talk about it,
to be happy is to ignore,
to be more happier is to care more of others,

thinking of definitions and classifications brings no good. it didn't make you get things started. it didn't change what and who you are. to think of those things is to make things more complicated. when simple life means good life. simplifying life should be simplifying the way to-do list is slashed. lately, not many of are even looked into.

cannot do anything.restless.useless.harmless.

luar jangkaan

telah ku sangka
begitu lama
sekian tempoh masa
yang sangat berguna
berlalu saja
tidak juga berguna
sehingga nyata
kenyataan kini tinggal cuma
tidak tahu bila
masih meraba
dalam selama
selama-lama

mungkinkah terbayar
segala jasanya
dengan seribu daya
bukan seribu paksa
mungkin separa paksa
untuk menjadi rela

sudah ku duga
segalanya luar jangka

doctors, warden, rules.

to see a doctor isn't just to get a whole dose of medicine. it's more than that. human-human interaction is more complex than a human-machine interaction. if a doctor would treat a human like treating a machine then that damn doctor should not ever deserved to be one la. shtt.

i had assumed every doctor to be humanly enough. maybe i've met a fake doctor. a man putting on doctor costumes pretending to know everything. emotionless is the best thing about the doctor.

among other beautiful fact of the day is rules are sometimes shameful and ridiculous. for someone who cannot walk to get permission to go out of the college is not pretty reasonable isn't it. just go out la. to have to tuck-in and wear formally like you are working whereas you are studying is not a good idea. studying should be relaxing and fun. not with all the unnecessary stress. no point of childish controlling.

today was really a good day. i went to college wearing slippers and having my shirt hanging loosely outside my pant. i didn't go for recess enjoying anecdotes written by Adibah Amin and I went back with my math teacher sending me in front of my house.

man, i dreamed of talking to my bro. i missed him.
i could barely walk.

harapan sekelip mata

perasaan yang datang dari hati tidak dikawal sebenarnya. apa yang dilalui hidup selalu diharapkan sesuatu daripadanya. banyak perkara yang dilalui dalam hidup dan apabila diimbas kembali ada keinginan untuk apa-apa kejadian atau input daripadanya. kita mahu barangkali semuanya sempurna. tiada masalah. begitu sikap optimis yang ada baiknya.

namun, ada antara harapan-harapan itu, yang dirasakan boleh betul dicapai. a very achievable target. achievable sweet dream. the sweetness of it comes very much from inside and not much explicable. very much of seeing and listening that makes it.

also, when it's almost there and suddenly, the subject disappear leaving you clueless with just a little bit hope. got to survive with only the hope. also to do right with the hope. you just cannot do much of it actually. it comes and goes. you just wait basically

to miss is an option.to look forward is another one.

natural itu dari hati

sudah beberapa lama tidak menulis dalam bahasa ibunda. kian dirindui pula perkataan dan kepanjangannya. tidak seperti bahasa inggeris, bahasa melayu punya perkataan yang panjang dan bersendi-sendi, kadang berulang-ulang. ah, tidak ku bosan dengannya walaupun tidak juga ku mahir menggunakannya.

hari ini mungkin hari terakhir berada di rumah kerna esok familiku akan bertolak pulang ke kampung halaman menyambut hari raya jauh dari bandar yang ku kira pasti akan sepi kerna hampir semua orang punya kampung. namun dapat ku jangkakan dalam masa dua puluh tahun akan datang, kita tidak akan lagi pulang ke kampung yang jauh-jauh kerna kita akan menetap berdekatan dengan ibu - bapa kita kecuali jika terjadi penghijrahan di sepanjang waktu kerjaya. posting oversea barang kali.

menggunakan bahasa ibunda ini jauh lebih natural dari bahasa inggeris yang kadang ku rasa seperti berpura-pura dan datang dari hafalan. ku tidak mahir bahasa, memang tidak dinafikan. kenapa keseimbangan sains dan bahasa selalu tidak wujud dalam diri walaupun itulah impian yang paling tinggi - menguasai bahasa dan sains. atau ilmu logika yang lain.

saya dapat rasakan pengaruh tulisan inin datang dari pembacaan. oh, saya kurang membaca. tidak sepatutnya mengkritik tetapi tidak membaiki dan tidak berubah. sudahlah perkataan menipu daya dan mententeramkan diri dengan pura-pura.

pilihlah : fantastiko atau realistik.

true(2)

this happen during the killing season when the virus of anti-sleeping spread in the dearest college. the virus is caused by a species from the kingdom of ib named ia who is the son of math.

a friend of mine was facing the ia right on the night before deadline, a time where all citizen of ib kingdom come together harmoniously. and he went asking me how freedom is given to us to do the question,"soalan ni boleh jawab ikut kite an?" then, i said,"yea, you could do anything,". at first i didn't want to ask what's he doing but then i asked.

by the time he answered me he was actually the exact same methods as mine. tidak berkembang jua. he initially thought that he had the most wonderful idea in the kingdom. but, unfortunately it was only an assumed truth. something believed to be true.

p/s: wth am i doin??